“Until recently, my office was really cluttered. Now, I’m in the process of organizing it.”
“Until recently, even though I liked you and wanted to be in touch, I was a little afraid of you. Now, I promise to stay in touch because I’m no longer afraid of the questions you’ll ask.”
“Until recently, I didn’t know how to approach difficult conversations. Now, I’m learning strategy and gaining courage.”
“Until recently, I was just walking through the experience of my life because I was afraid of my emotional response. Now, I’m living into it. And, it’s not as scary as I imagined it to be.”
“Until recently, I was struggling. Now, I’m feeling more flow and a smoother road ahead.”
It is a simple little strategy that, until recently, I hadn’t heard about. But, now that my friend Robert Newman from Columbus Ohio shared it with me when I saw him in June, I’ve been using it and I’ve been sharing it with my coaching clients.
One of the aims of coaching is to become aware of old patterns that no longer serve and awaken new patterns that serve us better, generating greater self awareness, one of the goals of hosting self in the Four Fold Practice. It is really easy to get stuck in the story of what was instead of engaging the story or the future we want to invite, the one that shifts the shape of our world and our interaction in it intentionally in the direction we envision, the way we want to show up for ourselves and in relation to other people.
It invites a gentle noticing: “until recently this is the way it was” – and it invites an intentionality: “now, this is what I choose. ” There is no harshness, no self judgment but a delightful invitation to choice. To choose a better feeling story and invite ever increasing better feeling results. It is like a mantra and a habit that can be remembered mid sentence in an old pattern:” I don’t keep in touch very…” pause, notice… “until recently, I wasn’t very good at staying in touch. Now, I’d like to set up a regular pattern of calls”.
It invites lightness into whatever it is we want to shift and grows the potential we will create the shift we want. Try it. Recently, I have discovered it is a very simple yet effective strategy.